Part Five: Buying a Girdle (For Gentlemen)
Know your lady's sizes. If you don't know a woman well enough to know her sizes, you don't know her well enough to be buying her underwear.
If given a choice, deal with a middle-aged saleslady rather than a teenaged clerk.
Browsing the racks on your own is best left until you are completely comfortable in the environment.
If you think you will need extensive help in selecting the garment, shop at a time when the store is not crowded. If you know what you're after, consider visiting a large department store during one of their semi-annual foundation sales. The area will be thronged and the sales staff will be far too busy even to notice your presence. You can search through the displays until you find exactly what you're after- no different from picking out a can of car wax or a cordless drill. (Well, maybe a little different.)
If you're still intimidated after all this, try an on-line retailer. They have excellent selections, after all.
Suzanne's Advice:
Some suggestions for men who might wish to buy the women in their life a girdle:
I always recommend that, if a man wishes to buy a woman an article of clothing he is not sure she will like, that he ought to do it gently, tentatively, romantically, and with respect and consideration. Many women who might not otherwise think of wearing a girdle might be willing to wear one if they know that the man in their life thinks it's attractive and if he presents it to her in a romantic, unpressured way (as part of a gift, or as part of a pattern of romantic gift-buying).
Many men who might want to purchase a girdle as a romantic gift for the women in their lives might prefer to order from a mail-order catalog. It is, however, surprisingly easy and comfortable for a man to purchase a girdle for his wife in a department store or in a lingerie shop. My husband has done it several times and he tells me that saleswomen do not consider it uncommon or unusual. Some of the lines he has used:
- "My wife called me at work and asked me to stop here to get
her a girdle because she's having trouble with a dress she wants to
wear tonight, or because she heard you were having a sale on this particular
type of girdle, or because she's been looking all over for this particular
girdle and she say your listing in the Yellow Pages and was wondering
if you would have it."
- At a place where he might become known, by buying his wife stockings, nightgowns, etc. it would not be inappropriate for a man to mention simply that his wife likes to wear a girdle and he'd like to buy her a nice one, along with a slip or a bra that match, or whatever.
-Suzanne
Virginian's Advice:
This is the only aspect of the subject where I have more expertise than my good friend Suzanne. As perceptive as she is, she'll never have quite the same understanding of the way it feels for a man to buy ladies' underwear. And here's the good news: it doesn't have to be a big deal, and (pace Suzanne), you don't need to resort to making up stories about why you're there. The majority- the vast majority- of lingerie retailers are businessmen and -women like any other. They are happy to sell their goods to anyone who cares to buy. If you treat the transaction in a business-like manner, they will, too.
That means, basically, knowing what you're after, walking into the store, being polite, making the purchase, and leaving when you're done. (If you've got ideas about peeking into the dressing rooms or quizzing the salesclerk about the type of underwear she wears, this advice is not for you anyway. Go away.)
The salesperson will assume, at first, that you don't know anything about what you want. If you simply say, "I'd like to buy my wife a girdle," there may be an awkward moment when she asks, "Well, what kind does she want?" assuming that this is something your lady has directed you to buy. Most lingerie retailers are accustomed to men buying panties and nightgowns as gifts, but I've found they are still a bit surprised to find a man buying his lady a girdle. Don't let this bother you; they don't think you're a pervert- they just aren't sure what they're going to be able to sell you.
You can take control of the situation by being specific right away: "I'd like to buy my wife a long-leg panty girdle, in white, size medium." If you have specific features you're looking for, say so, right off the bat. "Do you have one with garters and a stomach panel?" Or, "This is going to be a gift, so I'd like it to be a pretty one." Not only will this save time, it will reassure the salesclerk that you're a serious customer.
Of course, it can be intimidating to step into the sacred feminine precincts of the foundation department. I don't know many guys who could do so with complete aplomb the first time around. However, I can honestly say this: over the years, I have bought my wife at least two dozen girdles- from department stores and from lingerie shops- and I have never had a bad experience. I encountered some awkward moments early on, simply because I felt awkward and communicated the mood to the clerk. Expecting to be grilled, and certain of a quick trip to the Pervert Penitentiary if I gave the wrong answers, I made up explanatory stories that, in retrospect, are quite laughable.
Oh, well. If you didn't get smarter as you got older, what would be the point of living?
-Virginian
Peter writes:
Can I add another strategy, one that I have used on several occasions, and which keeps any potential embarrassment to a minimum? Write down exactly what sort of girdle you want to buy, and then hand the note to the lingerie saleswomen. You can even act the clueless male if you want, and it will be assumed that the note has been writen by one's wife, who has, for whatever reason, delegated the task to her husband.
I should add that I used this technique in the early days. I've since grown in confidence, and any strange looks I might get are more than compensated by the pleasure I get in browsing thru and selecting a girdle of my choice for my wife.
Continue to Part Six: Girdles and Women's Health
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