Sometimes it's hardest to open up to those we love most. Odd as it may seem, we will reveal some things to strangers, yet keep them hidden from our most intimate partners. For those of us enthralled by the image of the Girdled Woman, it can be especially difficult to speak out openly. The girdle's sullied reputation makes many of us loath to admit our desires.
Somewhere out there in cyberspace, right now, there are men who are saying to themselves, "If only my wife would wear a girdle once in a while." There are puzzled women who are wondering, "I can't understand it-- my husband wants me to wear a girdle!"
Yet there are others who have written joyfully, "Ever since I started wearing a girdle, my husband acts like we're newlyweds again. It's great!"
From J.D.:
As a 61-year-old male, I remember my days in college and graduate school with fond memories. I found that the women that I got to know best usually wore a girdle, one even a girdle and merry widow. This greatly limited the physcal aspect of the relationship, but what a spectacular appearance!! When we made out there was a practical limit to what could be done, but the combination insured that we could not go too far and both could relax and know that nothing would happen.
When I was first married in the mid 60's my wife would wear a merry widow and on one occasion both a girdle and a merry widow under a spectacular black dress. I still remember it after 30 years!!!
Now, as we are older, she still looks great and wears control-top hose, and a lacy briefer. This all looks great in form-fitting dresses. When we go to special places she has a dress that requires a strapless and she wears a merry widow with it, but so far she has not felt that a girdle is necessary.
She is uncomfortable with my attraction to what she is wearing under her clothing. She wants to be admired for what she is, not what she wears. I try to encourage her with the right kind of attention when she dresses well.
From Junior:
My fondness for women in girdles goes way back; not to high school, perhaps, but definitely to my college days, which coincided with the miniskirt-and-girdle era.
At the time, I just figured it was a passing whim, sure to disappear once I started getting "the real thing" on a regular basis. I certainly didn't think it was necessary to mention the quirk to my girlfriend. She was definitely a pantyhose-only type; pretty liberated in her thinking, and slender, to boot. The last person you'd expect to squeeze herself into something as barbaric and oppressive as a control garment. And that was fine with me, because like I said, I was sure that what lay ahead would be much more interesting than occasional girdle glimpses.
Now, picture a scene in the early seventies. I'm 21, newly married, and just coming to understand that married life is not going to be the non-stop sex orgy I had been expecting. My wife and I are visiting her parents' house, and she's in her old bedroom, cleaning out the bureau. I walk into the room, and she explains to me she's assembling a pile-to-keep and a pile-to-throw-out. She picks up something white and lacy from the top of the latter heap, and says, laughing, "See this? It's my old girdle."
Boom! Adrenaline... pulse race... buried thoughts came rushing to the surface, and a feeling of excitement welled within me.
Desperately, I search for words. "I didn't know you ever wore a girdle."
"Oh, yeah. Just to hold my stockings up. Once I started wearing pantyhose, I never wore it."
"Oh, uh, really? Ummm, you, uh, never wore it when we were going together, did you?" Trying to sound mildly curious, nothing more.
"No... well, yeah, I did. You remember that green dress I wore in freshman and sophomore years? The one you liked? I wore the girdle with that because of the way it clings."
Oh, my God! I remember the dress... and now I find out she was wearing a girdle under it!
"Wow," I say, "that's incredible. Medieval." Gotta be cool.
"Yeah," she says, and throws it back on the discard pile. No, no!
"Hey, don't throw it out!" I stammer, far too loudly.
"What?" she exclaims in disbelief.
"Umm, I mean, I'd like to see what it looks like on you."
"Why, for Pete's sake?"
"I'm just curious."
"Well, all right." She shakes her head. I can tell what she's thinking: men are so strange. Despite a cynical veneer, she's no more sophisticated than I am.
A few days later, in our bedroom, she puts it on. It's every bit as exciting as I'd hoped, and when all is said and done, I ask, "You know, that really turned me on. Would you keep it and put it on every once in a while?"
"No!" A horrified, incredulous shout. "Absolutely not! Girdles are bad things, and this one is going straight to the garbage now that you've seen it."
Everything crashes at my feet. I realize that somehow I've blundered... I should have approached things differently. Too late, though; the damage is done. Over the next couple of years, the subject comes up again, and again. At first she's disgusted, then annoyed, and then finally she relents a bit.
Well, oceans of water have flowed under the bridge since then, and there have been a lot of good times, and a lot of bad times. The good times have enabled me to experience several of the pleasures on Virginian's Top Ten List, and the bad times, well, a decent marriage involves compromise, and we've managed to muddle through so far.
Nowadays, my wife's attitude toward my fondness for girdles remains highly erratic, and subject to major fluctuations over both the long and short term. Most times, her attitude can best be described as "unenthusiastic acceptance." She will don a girdle under two circumstances: (1) if I specifically ask her to; or (2) if she is dressing up for an occasion that requires a nice outfit. She actually enjoys dressing in what she calls "girl clothes" now and then, but she does not go out of her way to find reasons to do so. Since her job does not require dressy attire, and since we live in a rural area, where the social style is highly casual, such occasions are infrequent these days.
From Centreville:
Yes, I too am a girdle enthusiast. Been one for as long as I can remember. My high school years were 66-70, which I consider to be when girdles were at their best! Maybe it's because those times bring back my fondest memories. Lots of panty girdles in pretty colors, and skirts so short that it was impossible to keep them from peeking out at times. Not that on occasions it wasn't an intentional treat! As with Tom, (whose account was very well written, by the way), it was a game in good taste. It was (is) particuliarly flattering to think that the main reason girls wear girdles is to look good for us guys. I remember spending half an hour most mornings in front of the mirror combing my hair to get just the right look, and believe me, that wasn't for other guys! Ahhhh - those were the days.
But I'm lucky! I have a wife who knows what I like and is happy to please! We go panty girdle shopping once in a while. Some nights, she will wear one to bed. After the fireworks are over, she keeps it on all night and we snuggle. I will rub my hand up and down her bottom and it feels so good. Nice and firm and silky smooth. She enjoys the rubbing too! Yes, I am the lucky one! Some people are so inhibited about trying things that they just don't know what they're missing.
I'll bet there are plenty of ladies out there who would be willing to wear a girdle for their husband or boyfriend if they only knew that it turned him on. But don't force anybody to do something they don't want to do. Besides, that wouldn't be fun anyway.
From Jim:
Without a careful inventory, I guess we own nine or eleven girdles of various types. Actually, I must say that I own them, since my wife would not buy them, let alone wear them without my perseverance. The fascination is purely mine... but, we've been together for quite a while, and with patience and time we've learned to accommodate each others' desires and have accumulated quite a few memorable times.
Though by no means, as regular an occurrence as I would choose...
I thought I'd share a reflection on this past weekend. My wife and I had a very pleasant time. We had decided to roast a turkey and gather all of the children for a proper dinner (not very hard, since only the eldest has married and left the nest). After a day-and-a-half of jeans, sweat pants, and meal preparation, we each bathed and agreed to change into attire more sensitive to each others' personal preferences.
For my wife, that meant that I had selected the most beautiful girdle we have, the Promise by Poirette. It is a sleek, pristine, open-bottomed garment... firm, from beneath the bust to just below the hips. For dinner wear, I offered a choice between a beige print dress or a white tailored blouse with a black skirt. I then busied myself downstairs, anticipating her entrance. Finally she glided by me, demure in the white and black. The dinner, the rest of the evening, the intimate knowledge we alone shared, was exquisite.
As I said... we had a nice time. This in stark contrast to what is probably the most frustrating aspect of my fascination with girdles and hence my wifes' participation: the negative attitude of friends and peers. It is not always a good subject for discussion. On those occasions when the topic shall rise in a group, my wife will become increasingly uncomfortable with her role in my preference, and I must frantically attempt to change the subject, as I become the apotheosis of the sadistic oppression of women.
It is ironic, I suppose, that I... we... having been irrevocably patterned through adolescence, are at odds with a contemporary culture that has so utterly discarded the garment.
From Tex:
Probably the most disappointing moment in my one-year (so far) marriage was when we were shopping for some lingerie for my wife's party dress. She needed a little tummy support to help out, so we went to a department store and searched the racks. Talk about a moment in life where I had to contain myself...it was impossible to not provide "professional" assistance during her trip.
Instead of my recommended Flexees black panty-girdle ("too severe"), she proceeded to try on every damn light/medium control brief in the store. Every time she came out of the dressing room, she was more upset and flustered. Two hours later, she finally accepted the more controlled black Flexees panty girdle. She hated it, couldn't deal with it.
The night of the party, she looked incredible in this garment; excellent curves and look, especially around the belly. She hated the attention that I paid to her, and couldn't believe that any man would find it attractive. That girdle has never seem the light of day since then. That's been the story of my life.
From Grey Fox:
I am sorry to say there are no girdles in our house, hidden away in drawers or otherwise. My wife missed out on the end of the girdle era by one year. Although she has never worn one, she states that she "refuses to bind myself up".
I have tried in subtle ways to hint that she should try one on before she makes up her mind. Who knows, she might like it...and from an erotic perspective, I certainly would.
But, outright suggestion might lead to the delicate subject of a woman's weight and waistline...an area where all wise men fear to tread.
From Diane:
I have worn a girdle for years, with my husband's extreme approval. However, he never understood what I meant when I told him how the tightness aroused me. Then one day, I had him try on an old Playtex Eighteen-Hour long-leg. He understood immediately. To this day (ten years after) we have shared wearing my girdles as an erotic foreplay. Please do not call this a fetish, it is not.
From Lukey:
I thoroughly enjoy the resurgence of foundation garments. I attribute it to the desire of the baby boomer to look 25 again. I have been fond of lingerie, especially garter belts, girdles and long line bras since I was a child. I was raised with a single mom and four older sister, and was always around girls and women half dressed, and saw quite a bit of high school girls at sleep overs, so I saw a wide variety of lingerie.
To me, there is nothing more exciting than seeing a women's lingerie through her clothing, whether it is the garter belt clasps, the lines of her bra, or the glimpse of stocking or panty as she crosses her leg. My wife is totally opposed to girdles or garter belts. However, I keep buying her these items with the hope she'll wear them. Since she won't, I have had to enjoy these pleasures vicariously, and shopping for lingerie, girdles, shapers, long line bras, etc. has become something of a hobby for me.
From R.C.:
I just read the "Hey, Honey . . ." selections. A great addition. It helps me appreciate how lucky I am. My wife just had a baby a month ago. We were lying in bed the other night when she commented (incorrectly I assure you) that she didn't look very sexy in her post partum state. I asked what would make her feel sexier. Her response was "A tight girdle." And she meant it. She tells me that she feels much more attractive and sexy when she is firmly girdled. She is also much more romantic after a day in a girdle. My hunch is that a great many more women would enjoy wearing a girdle if they would only give it a try.
From Jay G.:
It wasn't until I read Suzanne's work and so much more at Zona that it occured to me that the entire essence of women wearing girdles and the men who appreciate them revolves around a kind of fundamental respect. Erotic as it may be, it's really more of a "way of living" that includes countless unspoken components --emotional, psychological as well as physical components -- which add up to a most delightful, romantic, innocent and sometimes whimsical experience.
I really never dreamed that all of this subtle undercurrent would ever be this clear to me, let alone something that I could share with others. I was just one of the many who silently palpatated at the increasingly infrequent glimpse... or tell-tale shape... or just the fond memory of girdles gone by. Now, it's quite clear that girdles are here to stay.
(Yes, Virginian, there IS a Santa Claus!)
Editor's note: Ouch!
One more thing. Because of your site, I've been able to purchase a half-dozen of the lovliest girdles my wife and I have seen in years. This used to be a real problem. Now, every other week is Christmas and I'm afraid we've degenerated into a couple of teenagers again. Oh well... it's a tough job but somebody's gotta do it. For what it's worth, ShapeU123 is a great resource and should be supported in any way possible. Here's a real entrepeneur with a girdle-wearers panache! Another great help was, of course, Orchard. As I said, we just followed your lead and what a delight. Thank you.
From Mae:
My husband's fascination with girdling is the only reason I've joined in, but he stays in the background using me as his spokeswoman. I'm of the generation that grew up wearing girdles and know I need their support and shaping more with each year. But they've always meant much more to him- a big part of his eroticism. For years we never were able to really discuss it and I intensely resented his fixation. A dual complex of feeling loved less than a garment and thinking he thought me ugly without one. We lost a lot of years and happiness, certainly not all because of this. But we're now together again and determined to make our love and enjoyment of each other grow each day. We're lucky to have found a second chance and are making the most of it.
Again thanks for Zona and continued good luck. It has been good therapy and stimulation for us.
From Greg S.:
I think your web site is great!! I've really enjoyed it, especially the pics. I just wish I could convince my wife to zip up. She'd look great!! Unfortunately, she's from the period just after girdles went out of fashion and doesn't think they're sexy at all. Oh well, one can always hope.
From JC:
I am a 46 year old man who just adores a woman in a panty girdle. Regrettably, my wife thinks they are like medieval armor and refuses to even discuss the matter.
From Tom:
My wife - the love of my life - is wearing a nice suit to work today. She is also wearing the Flexees firm control black long leg pantie girdle, and matching black bra I chose for her while she was in the shower. She looks smashing.
She now wears girdles daily, at least to work. It has taken time and patience, but it has been well and truly worth it all. When we were first getting to know each other she was not a girdle wearer, and indeed did not own any. Gradually I introduced them to her. At first I got her into good bras and subsequently introduced matching light control briefs. Firmer control girdles followed later.
I've always kept up the supply of good uplifting bras as a way of making the point that good undergarments do make a real difference. For her, this is a sensitive area since her first husband was critical of her full breasts. To me they are an integral and a lovely part of her. With the right support she has regained confidence in herself. As her confidence has returned, the idea of wearing quality, fitted garments to help shape and give a good line was not an issue. Advice from a physio that a long line bra might be good for her helped reinforce the messages I had been giving. Not only do they give her an amazing line, they are also good for her!
Finding what she prefers has taken time. I introduced her to the body suit- especially the firm control styles which give her a good unbroken line under dresses - and through her wearing of them found her preference for firm control styles which extend above her waist. Several high waist girdles in different styles are now part of her wardrobe, as well as a range of body suits in varying styles and colours.
The good thing about it is that there is so much further to go in her girdle wearing. Many is the time I have been invited to choose what girdle and matching bra she will wear for the day, and quite often I have laid out girdles for her without any invitation. Not that my suggestions are necessarily accepted, but through that process I learn what she will and won't accept in various circumstances. Almost every day my wife stands beside me as I skim the morning paper while I run my hand over her to feel what she is wearing. Sometimes she will jokingly tell me I am losing interest in her because I haven't inspected her that morning, which is an open invitation to explore. On other occasions she will hold out a girdle and say to me, "Here, put this on me." I don't need to be asked twice!
Of course it is not always like this. There are setbacks. There has been a lot of "two steps forward and one step back," but we are always making steady progress overall. She has more girdles in her drawers than ever before and more of them are being worn.
I often get to wondering what it would be like if my wife wore what I would most prefer to see her in. Would I tire of it all? Nah! Not for a moment. I told my wife that she could always tell if I was losing it and needed to be put down, or if our relationship was in serious trouble, by my lack of interest in her wearing girdles.
What is very special about her girdle wearing is that I know quite a lot of it she does for me. Yet she has arrived at the point where she knows that her girdles do work for her. Only last week she said to me, "It is because of you that I wear girdles to work now." I like that, but what she went on to say was the rather more important point. Referring to what she had worn to work all day, she said, "I like this set I have on. I like the way it feels and I like its colour."
The more reasons she finds to wear girdles the better. With her regular visits to the gym and her regular girdle wearing she is finding she can wear a lot of the clothing she likes to wear. For my part I will happily keep her drawers filled with a variety of girdles, for ever!
When introduced as part of an outfit then new girdles become an integral part of the wardrobe and fully accepted from the outset. If a woman feelsconfident in how she looks, and her man responds positively, then there is less reason for him to ask her to put on a girdle for him. But he should also ask. It serves to remind her that he really does love it when she also dresses for him.
From Michael H.:
I slowly worked my way from nightgowns to girdles. After frankly talking to my then girlfriend now wife about my fetish she understood. J.C. Penny was more alluring than Victoria Secrets. It's worked out well
A simple girdle to start with has progressed to quite a collection. All I can say is that honesty is the best policy. I presented it (lingerie) as "gift wrapping". She understood completely.
From H.C.:
I am a male in my mid forties who has always had an admiration for women and their girdles. I can fondly remember the fifties and sixties including my mother buying her Playtex rubber girdles in the tube.
I married a wonderful woman in the early seventies. I surprised her by giving her a Playtex 18 open girdle and a 18 Hour high waist panty girdle to wear on our honeymoon. She gladly accepted them and has been wearing them ever since with the open girdle whenever she wears a dress or skirt.
I had chosen a large for the size as I wanted to be sure that it would not be too tight to discourage her from wearing it. My new bride actually needed a medium. But now as we approach 25 years of marriage, she fills out a large quite nicely.
I have also purchased other girdles for her but both of us really prefer the 18 Hour. The 18 Hour has such a classic retro look and feel to it that the lycra girdles do not have.
We play a game that keeps our marriage fun in that I buy her girdles. She says that I buy them and she wears them. A fun thing we often do is get dressed up to got out with her picking out my entire outfit, and me picking out her entire outfit. I find that my wife wearing a knee length dress or skirt with heels, stockings, full slip, 18 Hour open girdle, 18 Hour bra, and panties much more beautiful and appealing that any women in a mini skirt and pantihose.
As a funny aside, my 80 plus year old mother-in-law who has always had a very thin figure decided she no longer needed her girdle and gave it to my wife. It is a Playtex 18 Hour panty girdle!
I also know that for the next major function my mother-in-law needs to attend, she will be girdled as in her words "proper women are girdled when they are dressed". Maybe she gave my wife her girdle to make sure that my wife does not run short of girdles and to have an excuse to buy a new one for herself.
Are you a husband or lover wrestling with the question, "How do I ask her?"
Examine some suggestions in Suzanne's
"Do a lot of guys have a thing for old-fashioned underwear?"
Find out how one woman responded to her husband's surprising gift:
"I am trying to cope with the confession my husband has made about his girdle fetish..."
Zona readers reply to a woman's plea for for advice:
Return to Relationships: Men, Women, and Girdles
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Page last updated October 18, 1999