10. Lucinda: Public Bondage
Oh Reynardine,
You write so eloquently that I have repeatedly read and savored the writings you have been so kind to transmit! Girdling, corseting and bondage games have added to our marital enchantment just at a time in our marriage when so many couples seem to almost give up on romance, frivolity and novelty. I keep a moderately regular journal and have touched on these thoughts for some time, but never with anything approaching your considered thoughtfulness. Now, so many thoughts are coming to mind that I have purchased a little case for my PowerBook so that I can take it to work with me if I like and jot down my random thoughts any time I like.
Tonight I am in the mood to discuss discreet public bondage. First, a minor correction to a discrepancy in a previous post: Our games do sometimes include modest chains, not heavy chains., but chains nonetheless.
Where to start? Well, we began trying bondage at home -like nice normal people but found it increasingly boring. We like the tension and feeling of being not quite in control that novel bondage situations provide. At home, there just isn't enough tension, and trying to come up with new scenarios seems to sap the experience of a critical element of spontaneity. Curiously, even though there is nothing spontaneous about. creative underdressing, and even though dressing-- especially in corsets-- has many things in common with bondage, we do not find the thrill of dressing up Lucinda lacking one bit.!
What is the difference? I recall your description of playing the part of the damsel in distress in your town pageant. I could be wrong but I think that part of the reason these experiences carried such emotional energy was because they were public and spontaneous. For me, the preparation need not be spontaneous, but the experience itself has a special cachet when no one knows what will happen, when I am vulnerable and not in control, and when my lover is attending to me and treasuring me, and when we could get caught doing something outrageous.
In the very sparse literature I have found, it looks like our bondage experience is not uncommon. Most long term partners who engage in bondage seem to acquire vast collections of bondage gear and are constantly trying to contrive new, as they sometimes call them, "scenes." Incidentally, this equipment is quite expensive. Also, there seems to be a tradition of having bondage clubs, places to meet and so forth. We just aren't turned on by all that, and so may be abnormal bondagers <g>.
Years ago my husband saw an adult movie in which a woman wore a sort of neck brace in a sex scene. He described the brace and the scene in great detail after we had shared a few glasses of wine one night. The conversation touched, tangentially, on outdoor or public bondage fantasies as well. He found the sight of this woman in the brace to be deeply stirring and in fact admitted that he had an erection as he was describing it for me. The brace was interesting to me because partial immobilization is one of the most delightful aspects of bondage. I like to be caressed and attended when my movement is restricted. I just shudder with delight when he gently runs his hands along my sides following the indented curve of my girdled waist and especially along the sides of my breasts and on the top slopes of my breasts. The feeling of these caresses through the fabric if tight clothing is simply heavenly when I am restrained.
As we talked, I could see that my husband was quite taken with this brace thing, and that I had fed it by admitting to my enjoyment of immobilization. The next day, he very timidly brought it up again. He was such a dear about it. I love it when they -come out with it, almost like guilty little boys who have broken the picture window with a baseball! We sat down and talked it over some more, including the idea trying to locate a brace. My attitude is that I will try just about anything, so we decided that we would try to buy such a brace on the pretext of needing one for a photo shoot for an ad. Being a graphic artist, he can use that as an excuse for just about anything. It took several days to locate a local medical supply company that dealt in the style of brace he preferred and it was a special order item.
In between ordering the brace and getting it, about two months because that model is considered out-of-date, we discussed the idea of my wearing it in public. For some reason I had just assumed that this was what we were talking about-- wearing it in public on a date, noting the reactions to a woman dressed for the evening, out for drinks and dinner with her husband and wearing a brace. I was excited.
Well, he was surprised that I assumed it would be a public situation Very surprised and a little concerned that it as what I really wanted. Frankly I did not know if it was what I wanted, but I was going find out! We talked about what it would be like to eat and drink wearing such a brace, go to the ladies room, get into and out of a car gracefully, and what it would be like to have such a discipline enforced on my posture. This last was most interesting to me, as this was just after I had gotten my first BR Creations corset, and I was very much into a figure discipline frame of mind, training almost daily.
While our public scenario was taking shape over a period of weeks, I got to thinking about my dressing and about a fashion article I had seen somewhere about male codpieces. I can't remember where I saw that article. Somehow shoving a sock in there just didn't appeal, but I had always enjoyed manipulating, squeezing and handling his genitals. So I conceived of the idea of shaving him there and creating a sort of "shelf bra" for his male equipment. He was reluctant to shave, but consented to it. I keep my bikini line trimmed way back anyway, but we made a romantic evening of shaving each other except for a small patch so that I wouldn't be utterly bald (like a little girl again) and he like a little boy. I made up a nice fruit plate, and included whipped cream, champagne and we, well... (to borrow one of your turns of phrase).
Even though I do more of the dressing up and perform as the "slave" more often in our sexual lives, he is so very solicitous. Knowing that I have only modest visual fantasies but rich sensual fantasies and a keen enjoyment of role playing, he has put a great deal of energy into becoming an expert at massaging and pleasuring me, which I love, and in behaving romantically. He often tells me that he is very lucky man. I feel that he is, too. But I am a lucky woman, because we love each and take intrinsic pleasure in activities that give joy to the other.
I guess that was my little "aside." I am a little shy about explaining to you about the "shelf bra" experiment, but I will do so because it was part of that first public experience and may suggest a way of answering a question men seem to be inclined to raise: "What would you like me to wear. What turns you on." They are so visual, and seeing a lover dressed in a strict girdle or corset is both a turn-on and, I think, a source of guilt. They would be more than happy to return the favor, but there is no particular male dressing tradition that parallels that of figure discipline or even the mystique of lingerie. Nevertheless, this codpiece theme has proven to be very very sexy to me. Men's genitals have so much personality and vulnerability anyway. What fun it is to dress them up. Perhaps in my old age I will knit him something...
You have to wonder how they can walk with all that tissue hanging in front, but they obviously do. I bought a pair of the tight Calvin Klein athletic briefs which I might add are remarkably similar to a ladies light control, boy-leg brief. They even have Lycra and do not have a fly. I had him don them and I carefully cut a strategic hole with scissors. The idea was to get the hole just large enough so that his testicles and penis could just come through it by stretching it. Since he got very hard during the fitting, I supposed I was on the right track <giggling>. Having cut the hole, I bound it off on the sewing machine to prevent the fabric from tearing and for comfort.
The second fitting called, in my mind, for creation of a shelf. I had envisioned creating the support using gauze against the skin and surgical tape for shaping and support, then sewing up a pattern from the result. But as I was working we discovered that the tape and gauze were fun and effective, so I decided that tape and gauze would be it.
Basically the male shelf bra is very simple. He wears tight fitting briefs cut as described. Then I gently but snugly wrap the base of his genitalia with gauze, following up with tape. This, we decided would have to be critically firm, yet not too firm. Otherwise everything swells up too much and turns purple because the blood cannot flow efficiently. Then I attach an Ace bandage to his briefs in back, just below the waistband, using those little bandage hooks. I bring it around the front, crossing it over the center above his genitals, then down and around and under them, and then up and around the other side, attaching the other end of the Ace bandage to the first. The support effect is remarkable and I can guarantee you that he must try very hard not to have an erection and that he can only get away with quite loose pleated slacks when so dressed.
He agreed to wear this on our date, but we decided to have him wear it around the house for an evening first, just to make sure it would hold up. It did, and I can tell you that his release at the end of our lovemaking that evening was quite extraordinary indeed.
We have tried other special dressing and accoutrements for him, with varying success. Some of them have been fun but not something that could be worn under clothing during the day. Others have been more subtle. In general, I am the dresser upper in this twosome and nothing comes close to the male shelf bra for all around fun.
Now about our first special evening and the brace. It is constructed with a metal rod in the front, about which is built a contoured breast plate out of sturdy, thick plastic which extends from just below the collar bone to the sternum.. The breast plate is about ten inches wide and curved in on either side so that it will accommodate breasts. However it is not curved quite enough, so my breasts are sort of "walleyed" in it. When fitted the first time I removed my bra because it was in the way. Subsequently I have worn a Lilyette jogging bra with it. On either side are two cushioned metal shoulder supports that somehow remind me of curved tops of those temporary boarding ladders they use for ski boats. These extend down in back as far as the rib cage and have slots in them at the bottom through which a soft but strong web belt is strung. The supports are also connected with a simple criss-cross of webbing. .Each end of the belt goes around the rib cage and attaches to roller buckles on short straps that are attached to the lower corners of the breast plate. Once these straps are adjusted, the upper spine is quite immobile. But there is more, much more.
There is a metal sleeve with click adjustments riveted to the sternum plate. This receives a one-inch-wide bar that is curves outward slightly at the top where there is attached a cushioned chin rest.. It took considerable adjusting of this bar height to get the chin rest adjusted at the right height. Both sides of the chin rest have short straps with roller buckles on the ends. On either side of the chin rest sleeve on the breast plate there are smaller adjustable sleeve sockets. Into these go two rigid curved bars that extend from either side of the neck from a cushioned rest for the base of the skull. Once everything is snapped into place, the head is held quite rigidly because of the chin rest in the front and the skull rest in the back. These rests are carefully adjusted and connected to each other via adjustable straps that pass under the ears. Thus strapped in, it is impossible to move the head to either side, forward, or backward.
It took us considerable experimenting to get this thing adjusted. We were so focused on the adjustments and making sure we were connecting things correctly that the process was quite clinical and matter of fact. But once it was done and I began to attempt to move around with it, I appreciated the immobilizing effect. Much as with a tight corset, something like this naturally causes an air of considered and deliberate movement, a certain dignity in motion. Owing to the restriction in chin movement, it is not easy to talk. I definitely like the feeling of profound detachment between my head and my body when wearing the brace. In fact, it seems to cause an overall feeling of intellectual and emotional detachment which my husband noticed right away and found quite disarming..
It is impossible to look down and getting dressed while wearing it is a major challenge. Putting on stockings and shoes is nearly impossible, and attaching garters is a matter of trial and error. I only worked at these things once. My husband is more than delighted to help with these preparations.
For our big night, we made reservations at a romantic hotel with a lovely dining room. The dining room combines a sense of being in a castle with an elegant, almost Edwardian, feeling. My husband had arranged for us to get a booth, explaining about my neck injury and the need for support. In preparation for the evening I put on my favorite panty girdle, the white Poirette Promise high rise, very tight, pretty taupe stockings and the Lilyette bra (The brace made wearing a corset impossible, even though I was at the height of my ardor for corseting at that time). Then I dressed my husband as I described. I had never seen him with pants over his "shelf bra" (I think we need to think of another name for that) and was surprised that he was willing to walk around with such a bulge. He did wear an overcoat to the table, though, even though we did not need to go outside to get to the dining room. Therefore I also ended up wearing a coat for consistency.
After he was dressed, got me fitted into the brace and I put on an outfit I had purchased especially for this occasion. It consisted of a simple white sweater, since the brace made any notion of a beautiful neckline ridiculous, worn under a black velvet empire waisted jumper. Shoes were two inch (thick, clunky style) heels so I would have a little extra measure of stability along with a little "Betsy Johnson-ish" style. Sadly, the brace simply forbade anything that might accentuate the figure. However, I had forgotten what fun high-waisted dresses are. The slightest current of air can be felt all the way up! That reminds me of something. I get very leaky with all the anticipation and tension that builds over evenings like these. The wetness can become a real problem! So I wear panty shields, which prove very difficult to manage while wearing the brace and dealing with the split crotch in the girdle in the ladies' room.
I can tell you that wearing the brace in public is a very rich experience. With my head held high, it is impossible not to meet every eye that looks my way. Most did take a look as we entered the dining room. For a few moments I was quite self-conscious, but it is simply not possible to turn away, so I just went with it. We were seated quickly and the maitre'd was quite sweet. Most people look away, much as I suppose they would treat someone in a wheel chair. I overheard many remarks about that poor girl, and saw plenty of stolen glances and even covert stares. I sense that a modest minority of men are quite intrigued, want to look but they know they shouldn't, but they can't resist... It is fun to watch.
Drinking and eating are hard. I like Champagne, which is a good choice because the narrow glass is easier to control. I had salad and medallions of veal for dinner. It was fun to have my husband cut my food for me and assist me with everything. This vulnerable feeling, being served and attended to by him that makes me feel so filled with feminine power and with love-- and lust.
During the meal, he reached under the tablecloth and lifted my skirt, gently massaging my inner thigh. Oh, I love that so! His touch there is so exquisite that my breath becomes shallow and I feel on the verge of tears. I was able to touch him only a little because of the combination of my erect posture, the way I had to turn to do it, and my arms aren't long enough sitting so erect!
We lingered there through coffee for him and Amaretto for me. I didn't want an accident with hot liquids while so braced! I am going to generally end my description here, since we both seem to have had similar experiences with sex associated with our underdressing/bondage experiences. I think you write far superior erotica to mine anyway. Oh, how torrid was your writing about your San Francisco adventure!
We have only gone out in public twice with the brace. It is a difficult undertaking, believe me. Riding in a car with it for any distance is almost intolerable. On the other such date, which was several months later (although we use the brace occasionally at home to this day) we went to a local restaurant. That night I also wore a tight bracelet with a secure clasp on my left hand. Attached to the bottom of the breastplate of the brace under my jumper was a length of chain with a light weight clip on the end. We cut it to a length so that, once seated at the table, I reached down and pulled up my skirt (I wore an open-crotch girdle that night), fished out the chain which had fallen between my legs at my crotch, and attached it to my wrist. The chain, coming out from under the hem of my skirt pulled the skirt up to the bottom of my girdle when I held my wrist in my lap. If I moved my wrist, it would pull the skirt up more. I thought of this idea, liking the utterly illicit, profoundly submissive and dangerous implications of it. However, it was not as fun as I had hoped because I could simply unhook the chain any time. The idea also drove my husband wild, but he was so fearful of discovery that he didn't have as much fun as he might have hoped either. It is something we will not try again.
Other public things we have tried, briefly, and I can describe these experiences further if you like:
On Halloween last year I wore a white panty girdle and a long-line bra with a black cocktail dress. The dress was just short enough so that the girdle and stocking welts showed continually, as did portions of the long-line bra on top. I also wore a choker with two chains attached to either wrist, six inch heels and ankle chains. But, then, you can get away with anything on Halloween. Incidentally, my husband wore a body briefer that night under his Vampire costume (just for kicks, not as part of the costume) and said he liked the sensation of it on his skin and, especially, his stomach. He also wore lycra tights and told me he liked them, too. We intend to make Halloween a very special night from now on.
We have gone to the mall with me corseted or girdled with only bra and stockings on under my coat. That is fun and we have done that more than any other single public activity. It is fun to go out, come home all excited and make mad mad love.
On two occasions we have experimented with chastity belts. These are fun at home, too-- particularly with vaginal and anal plugs. However, when either of the plugs are in place it is uncomfortable to walk around. So plugs are an at-home thing only. These belts are made of leather with a waist belt and a crotch strap that locks in back with a padlock. The idea is to get modest size plugs, not the large (especially not the long) ones. With the strap properly centered (no plugs) and the belt locked on with the padlock it is very, very stimulating. We go to the movies like this. Of course I fix him up with my patented shelf bra, too. Very, very naughty and fun to make out! Incidentally, the same sources that sell chastity belts sell male cock rings and such. These are very uncomfortable for him and do not have nearly the wonderful codpiece effect. Nor do they cause the nearly continual mild tumescence which he finds quite pleasurable.
Reynardine, I hope I haven't bored you or worse. These things are difficult to begin talking about, but once I start writing I like describing them and my feelings about them. Bondage, broadly defined, is not a primary focus of our lovemaking, but it is definitely fun to sort of play with the outer limits once in awhile.
Lucinda
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